


Nobody Said It Was Easy

by OrdinaryMiracle84



Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrdinaryMiracle84/pseuds/OrdinaryMiracle84
Summary: No one ever said it would be this hard.





	Nobody Said It Was Easy

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay and is being used as a prompt.  
> It mentions some real life events though the order may be a bit jumbled.  
> Also, excuse the feels and the angst.

“Well, congratulations! You’ve done pretty much all that was in your powers to kill it off. Kill and bury completely. You can be certain no one suspects anything anymore.”

Jack was sad and angry, but mainly hurt. It was never meant to be easy, he was aware of that, he just didn’t realize how difficult it would be having to kill the buzz of something that was becoming dangerously too obvious.

“Excuse me? Didn’t we agree that things had to be cooled off? For our own fucking sake, you know it had to be done, we were fucking spelling it out the way it was going. We talked about the consequences...”

This is so fucked up, Mark thought, such a mess, a mess he equally wanted to escape and embrace with every fibre of his being. He wished he didn’t have to do this, this “septiplier is dead” campaign, but he didn’t know what else to do. He felt like it was getting out of hand, threatening to become too “confirmed”, getting too close to the point of no return. And that was scaring the shit out of him.

“Jesus, Mark, you couldn’t have cooled it off more if you’ve tried. If anything, you might as well start a new ship with Tyler, even that’s more believable now.”

“Seriously, Sean? You know there’s nothing to it, come on, you know I wish you’d be on the panel as usual but we have to do it this way. We’ll still see each other...”

“Will we though? Better not be seen together, eh?” Jack asked quietly, feeling rejected and left out as he hasn’t for a long time. He felt like everything was falling apart, they were falling apart. It was the beginning of the end.

*Four months later*

_“Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are...”_

Another time, another con. They were about to meet again, the first time after that heated conversation at 2am on a very emotional night. They’ve barely talked since then, mainly for work related matters, a group game here and there, nothing too personal, almost trying to avoid each other, it seemed. Mission complete, Mark thought. Our ship is dying. But so was a piece of his heart as well. There was nothing he wished for, craved for right this moment, than to see Jack again.

**

Time dulls the pain eventually. Or that was what everyone was telling him, not that many people knew, anyway. And definitely, no one could understand completely. Sometimes, he thought, not even him himself.

It’s the end of another busy day, a good day. He’s seen Jack briefly, nothing but quick hellos were exchanged, but seeing him again has made the whole charade wobble again. He tried his best not to look distracted, lost, overwhelmed. He needed to see him again. In private.

**

Jack winces as he hears the knock on his hotel rooms’ door, his heart lurching in his chest. He rakes his fingers through his messy hair. This is a bad idea. He knows it very well. But his heart wins once again over his mind, and he opens the door.

“Mark...this is probably a bad idea...” he starts but is unable to continue as his heartbeat speeds up and breath quickens, the sight of his friend bringing back all the pent up anger and jealousy of the last few months along with desperate, intense longing that fills his soul to the brim.

“I’m sorry.” Mark whispers, eyes locking with Jacks, pleading, asking, hoping.

Jack doesn’t say anything. He lets him in and closes the door behind them.

_“I had to find you_   
_Tell you I need you_   
_Tell you I set you apart...”_

Mark sits on the floor, propped up against the bed while Jack sits on it. They’ve been sat like that in silence for the last ten minutes, neither knowing exactly what to say and how to say it and whether it should be said at all. Yet strangely, they can’t imagine themselves at any other place right now that would’ve felt more right.

“Nothing have changed. Not in the way I feel about you anyway.” Mark feels the need to state this, something that should be obvious what with the way his heart is threatening to explode at this very moment, aching at the simple distance between them now. So close and yet so far.

“Really? You could’ve fooled me.” Jack laughs bitterly. He’s felt so empty over the last months, communication between them dwindling, a lack of confidence mounting. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

Mark gets up and starts pacing the room. “Why am I the bad guy here, huh? Feel like having another dig at me, maybe? At the tearful fucking youtuber?” And those tears were threatening to make an appearance again, making his voice crack.

Jack shook his head. “You know I didn’t really mean that. I just hate it that you stopped sharing things with me, confiding in me like you used to.” Like they used to.

“I’m sorry, Sean. I haven’t been myself lately, for a long time now. It felt easier to shut down, this is my fucked up way of dealing with things when they get too much.” He stops and looks at Jack, wishing all of this mess away so badly, back to the time before everything became so complicated. Back when he was so in love and so happy, when they didn’t think of consequences, when they couldn’t get enough of mentioning each other in the most positive of ways, when every mutual video was an adorable display of affection, masked only slightly.

Jack moves slightly to the side on the bed, resting his hand briefly on the spot next to him.

 _“Tell me your secrets_  
_And ask me your questions_  
 _Oh, let's go back to the start_  
  
_Running in circles_  
 _Coming up tails_  
 _Heads on a science apart...”_

“Do you still...” Jack starts and is afraid to ask, afraid to know. He quickly changes the subject as Mark sits next to him, eyeing him questioningly, and begins an “Oh by the way...” story, telling about someone he’s met today at the con, attempting to escape the heavy burden of their current situation, if only for a moment.

 _“Nobody said it was easy_  
_It's such a shame for us to part_  
 _Nobody said it was easy_  
 _No one ever said it would be this hard_  
  
_Oh, take me back to the start...”_

Mark listens to Jacks story, letting him go on till his words die down. “Sean...” he touches lightly his arm and winces at the speed Jack moves his arm away.

“Don’t...I don’t think I can...I don’t..” He shakes his head, Marks touch hitting him like lightning, setting his body on fire. It hurts enough as it is.

Mark stands up and walks towards the window, looking at the starry sky outside, searching for answers, for ways to explain the inexplicable. How he deliberately, painstakingly made sure he dropped hints in his videos, in his words and actions, to imply what was suspected couldn’t be far from the truth. He invested his time in that instead of paying attention to his heart, of paying attention emotionally to the one person who’s become so precious to him.

 _“I was just guessing_  
_At numbers and figures_  
 _Pulling the puzzles apart_  
  
_Questions of science_  
 _Science and progress_  
 _Do not speak as loud as my heart...”_

“I do, still. I always will, despite how messed up this is. You’re my fucking lifeline and I’m a fucking idiot for taking you for granted.” He answers Jacks brief question from before, focusing his gaze on a particularly bright star.

After a few moments he hears movement and a hand rests on his shoulder. He turns around and gets swiftly pulled into a tight hug that takes his breath away.

“I’m sorry too. We’ve both been utter dicks to each other.”

**

Hours pass, words flow. “Remember when...” becomes the favourite topic of the night and they laugh and reminisce, escaping to the past, when everything seemed so easy.

They both lay on the bed now, still maintaining distance.

“Like a fucking school boy with a crush, that’s what it felt like that night. I was star-struck. And you, you just seemed so...cool, so composed. I didn’t think, couldn’t imagine...”

“That I felt the same?” Mark smiled, remembering the day they first met. “I’m so glad I convinced you to stay after that ride in the lift.”

“I’m glad you did.” Jack says quietly, stealing a glance. He lingers on Marks face, hair. A sudden question pops into his mind, realizing that on a subconscious scale it must’ve been bothering him.

“Mark, why did you...stopped dyeing your hair...sorry, that’s a stupid question.” He regrets it as soon as it leaves his mouth but Mark gets it.

“It’s not...I just, you know...it’s such a drag to maintain the color. It doesn’t mean anything. Hey.” He touches Jacks cheek with his fingers, making sure he catches his look. “This was not part of the...plan...” He winces as he utters the word. He wants Jack to know. He didn’t do it on purpose to break the “red and green” alliance. But he realizes how Jack must’ve felt about it.

“Is that why you...” He plucks up the courage and gently runs his fingers through Jacks messy, discoloured, yellowish hair. “...stopped maintaining yours?”

Jack closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath. “Maybe.”

“You should go back to the dark green, suits you well. Don’t be silly, yeah? Even with my hair being red or pink or purple or blue or black or fucking grey, I...” It chokes him up, the pent up emotions threatening to spill down his eyes. “I fucking love you, Sean.”

 _“Tell me you love me_  
_Come back and haunt me_  
 _Oh, and I rush to the start_  
  
_Running in circles_  
 _Chasing our tails_  
 _Coming back as we are...”_

Jack doesn’t reply but instead pulls him close roughly by the hair, the not-anymore-red-hair, and kisses him angrily, passionately, claiming his lips, claiming him.

“Fucking mine” He hisses, blue eyes blazing with fire.

“Fucking yours” Mark replies.

They’re addicted and they could never quit. Marks voice, Jacks eyes, Marks smile, Jacks skin, Marks moans, Jacks gasps, Marks strong arms, Jacks soft lips. Their bond.

It’s how it should be, how it’s meant to be, how it’s right. At least now, just for now, please make it last...make tonight last forever.

 _“Nobody said it was easy_  
_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part_  
 _Nobody said it was easy_  
 _No one ever said it would be so hard_  
  
_I'm going back to the start...”_


End file.
